The Pink Butch Test

We all have tests that people have to pass in order to be deemed dateable. We have screening tools. We all have things we look for, relationship benchmarks, dealbreakers even.

I have a few but one of the items high on my initial compatibility checklist is the Pink Test. Closely related to the Feather Boa Test.

I will only date butches who are okay with pink.

The first butch I dated when I was back in the game was a major player in converting me to pink. She set the bar with her joy at my pink pajamas (and my midnight treks to the video store in said pjs). Then there was the boi with pink shoes. There was a boi who acquired a pink harness in my honor (hawt!).  A  boy with a soft pink blanket and a favorite pink tie. There was a butch who explained she wasn’t anti-pink, it just wasn’t in her color chart (and showed me the color chart as proof). A one date butch who wore pink to meet me at the train station which automatically endeared her to me despite our short lived flirtation. A butch in a light pink dress shirt picking me up for a second date. Such fun!

You see, I love genderqueers, I heart transgression and contradiction. And I have found that butches who won’t embrace pink tend to be somewhat binary in their “pink is for girls” thinking.

I want a butch who is confident and sexy enough to sport that pink dress shirt and rock it, to not give a fuck, not for a second think that they are less of a butch, not for a second consider it in any way feminizing– if anything that pink shirt is now being queered, it is being butchified, it is now transgressing the boundaries of pinkness. A butch who isn’t down with pink is generally not someone who will be compatible with me. If they are not okay with pink, odds are they won’t be okay with feather boas, or with glitter and sparkles. And I’m not okay with that.

So far my test has worked for me.

My New Year’s Eve date wore a pink dress shirt (and a beautiful tie) and has expressed that he favors white feather boas over black.   Looks like he  is going for extra credit!



  1. genderkid Said:

    I love this test! I’m a transman and I love pink, so some people question my male identity (apparently male-bodied men can be feminine, but a feminine female-bodied person has to be a woman?). I might adopt the Pink Test in my future dating life.

    Estuve leyendo tu blog; qué bueno es encontrar a otra persona latinoamericana interesada en lo genderqueer!

  2. thealeticia Said:

    Me hiciste el dia genderkid! Desafortunadamente el vocabulario para estas conversaciones aun no existe en muchas de nuestros paises y por ello revierto al ingles…

    Not only do I agree with your premise about the logical error in assuming that a feminine female-bodied person automatically has to be a woman but I propose a deconstruction of pink. Pink doesn’t have to be feminine. Sure it can be. So can black (a la little black dress). We know that historically pink used to be for bioboys because it was a power color. I would like to reclaim that power, and queer up pink, because soft, formerly girly, pink can also be kickass and powerful and fabulously genderqueer!! And that’s just hawt!

  3. […] 17, 2009 This week, thealeticia wrote about The Pink Butch Test: “I will only date butches who are okay with pink.” She wants to transgress the […]

  4. Kay Paiva Said:

    GREAT TEST!! Being okay with pink shows a confidence in both their masculine and feminine sides. Nice work =)

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