Freedom

I am blessed.

I have been going through an intense growing period in my life for the last year and I’m constantly amazed.

And here’s the latest lesson I’ve learned:

Okay doesn’t always look like we expect it to.  It isn’t always packaged the way I would like it to be but lo and behold, it’s all good anyway.

I’ve recently been freed from a situation that was not supportive of my living with integrity and honor.  I’ve been freed from a situation that was not working toward my greater good.  I would not have chosen these circumstances but nonetheless I’m blessed and I’m free.

I’ve been let go from the organization I was working with.  It was sudden, unexpected, and ultimately unjust given a lot of circumstances that i don’t feel like getting into right now.  I’m still reeling from the blow and the feelings of betrayal of not having my contributions, efforts, hours of hard work be valued or recognized and of being set up to fail and blamed for things that were not in my power to control.  I’m hurt, I’m scared, I’m very sad, but I’m also blessed and free.  I had been struggling with issues and contradictions within the organization, I’d been struggling with inconsistencies, with a lack of freedom to do what I do well and with inadequate supervision.  and devaluing of staff and volunteers.  I was not ready to call it quits but that decision was taken from me and now I’m free again.

Even as i struggle with the sadness, with the loss, with the blow to my ego, I also see that it’s okay.  I’m okay and this is an opportunity to find new ways to make a living that are in line with my values and passions.  It’s an opportunity to evaluate my decisions, my relationships, the ways in which I participate in the world.

i’ve discovered amazing sources of support where I didn’t expect them.  I’ve also been disappointed by the ways in which some people have checked out.   I am blessed to have this opportunity as well.

I was talking with a friend of my heart yesterday about the great things I’m dreaming and about the courage and strength that I have learned in myself.  I have an opportunity to do amazing things, it’s only my fear that stops me and I’m in a place where I am able to examine my fear and I am able to see my awesomeness and taste courage on my tongue.  I was reminded of a piece by Marianne Williamson that has been on my mind lately and is now fueling my new adventure:

Our Greatest Fear

it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

It’s time to make some changes in my life.  I have been doing amazing things.  I have been manifesting amazing blessings in my life.  This latest blessing comes in a strange package but I have no doubt that it is leading me to the next level, to the next glorious adventure and to new ways to make a difference in the world I walk in.

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