Anticlimactic pseudo-not-quite-endings

Today I taught what will probably be my last class at this University. I may get a chance to substitute next semester but other than that I won’t be teaching, I’ll be Research Assistant (RA) to several projects but I won’t be in the classroom.

This was, honestly, one of my worst teaching semesters ever. And, if you don’t know me, I should tell you: I LOVE teaching and am usually pretty damn good at it. I’m not one of the wankers who walks around whining about students and hating their job.

The problems this semester were mostly out of my control and I was unable to overcome the myriad interuptions (we lost 18 hours due to Saturday power outages and were unable to make up lost time, including going three weeks without a meeting). I lost over half of my class due to miscommunications between the department, the office for international students and the registrar and I was never able to get morale back up. Ah well.

I taught, we learned, we laughed. It’s over. It feels odd though. Mostly I’m glad to be done with a flop of a semester. I’m glad to have learned as much as I did. I know some more cool people now becaused my students were all really interesting. They always are.

The class ended with a portrait of me: two of my students are married and are parents of a kid who came to class with them. He drew a picture of me on the board, then one of himself. We each posed next to our pictures for dad to take a photo. Cool. A nice ending to a strained semester.

And, I also took my last class last week. I still have a project due and a final exam to take but I’m done with
Psycholinguistics. The ending was irritating and felt more disorganized than momentous. Nonetheless it’s over.

I don’t remember a time in my life where I’ve been more accutely aware of transitions. I am sure part of it is due to my hours spent with my ph.d applications and GRE study guides. I am busy trying to find new ways to describe my goals, my interests, my knowledge, and my hopes.

My fears I keep mostly to myself.


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